To the end of the world and back

Remember the time when every company had a number to call, and a live person on the other side of the line? A person who would simply answer your call and deal with whatever issue you had, or connect you to the person who could help you best? Remember how later the system was improved and you had to listen and wade through touch-phone options to connect you to a live person? Remember how that person would then seamlessly morph into a talking algorithm, taking you through well-ordered steps of instructions the first time you called or the fifteenth time you called, just so that you could finally talk to the person off a scripted dialog? Remember how then the live-yet-automated human being was seamlessly replaced by a machine, one listening to what you repeated after it and answering with pre-recorded messages? And remember how that machine also disappeared, replaced with email and chat, with no number to call at all? And then email and chat also disappeared, and with it any remote interaction with something resembling a human being – the problems you experienced were to be dealt with by thick manuals and automated online or software troubleshooters. But what happens if the machine fails, and the algorithm takes you around the block in circles? Infinite loop with no way out, doom and damnation of an impersonal cyberspace.

It is DIY taken to the extreme: We, the company, are not responsible for any issues you may be experiencing. We just aren’t. You cannot contact us to complain either. Maybe you can find some good-hearted human beings who went through the same predicament, figured their way out, and are now willing to share that knowledge. Spend a few days – weeks – months – in cyberspace, maybe you will find them. Let the search for the Golden Fleece begin.

And then a miracle happens – when you are lost enough, and desperate enough, and wailing long enough, a human being sent by the machine-god suddenly appears, like a specter out of cyberspace. He kindly takes you by hand, and leads you out of darkness. Glorious humanity!

And now, after a long hiatus, we are back to our regular broadcast. Welcome back.

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